A Cold Winter's Night
by MrsB108
Summary: J/T John and Teyla share a winter's night pondering life while visiting a newfound planet


_Written for Cblade007 during Beya's Secret Santa_

**A Cold Winter's Night**

The fire crackled loudly in the background of the crowded room and John Sheppard felt this was an appropriate time to say the things that had been weighing on his mind for the past hour or so. He stood a bit awkwardly, his chair making a scraping sound against the wooden floor beneath his feet as it moved behind him, and the generous gift he'd received this very night in the form of a animal-skin vest hung long and furry over his shoulders and down towards his half-eaten plate.

He was happy and amongst friends at the moment, of both old and new, and he wanted to remember this night for many years to come. He reached down and grabbed his hand-crafted goblet from the table, the thick aroma of wine filling his senses as he drew it upwards.

Expectant faces looked up at him, all of them smiling though some were smiling through food-filled mouths like Ronon to his left.

Teyla and Rodney were beside him on the right; Teyla ever so graceful and poised and Rodney…well he was just Rodney looking only slightly amused by their situation. The other faces that surrounded him were of the latest tribe he and his team had encountered on a mission from Atlantis.

A warm, friendly village that flourished in trade and harvest, filled with people with good, kind hearts; John had never felt so welcome. When the leader of the village had insisted Colonel Sheppard and his team spend the evening dining with them, John was happy to oblige as were the others.

There were husbands and wives, mothers and children, brothers in arms, and elders among them and in their community here on this planet, John truly felt a real sense of family and home.

He cleared his throat with his drink raised in hand and started to speak hesitantly.

"Hey there, everyone. As you all know, my team and I came here to introduce ourselves to your people in the hopes of creating a friendship through trade and peace. Whenever we go on a mission like this, there's always a sense of …..foreboding, I guess you could call it; we never know what kind of people we're about to meet or how welcoming they'll actually be. More than a few times, we've gotten ourselves into…situations that well, weren't the greatest, simply be saying hello. But your town, your people….. What I really wanted to say was, thank you. Thank you very much for the warm welcome you and your kin have given us here. We are all very grateful and hope that this friendship between us lasts a very, very long time. Cheers."

With that, John raised his glass even higher and received shouts of agreement and gaiety as other drinks were raised, including those of the members of his own team.

Once everyone had taken a good long swig of their wine, Sheppard smiled again towards the crowd and retook his seat by his team, earning a hard thump on the back from Ronon.

"Good speech," Ronon gruffed, taking another long gulp of drink before shoving a meat-covered bone into his mouth with his other hand.

"Yeah," Sheppard responded with a wry smile towards him. "You spoke very well Colonel," Teyla piped in from the other side of him. "These people have shown remarkable generosity and kindness, in a time when many fear strangers that would come through the gate."

Sheppard nodded, meeting her wise gaze with his own. "Yep, they sure did."

Suddenly, Sheppard noticed Teyla's goblet was empty and he reached forward to grab the large pouring jug from the table in attempts to fill it for her. Teyla had reached forward herself at that moment and their two hands grazed each others, sending an undeniable bolt of electricity through both of them.

Teyla smiled at Colonel Sheppard in that way that was both friendly and knowing, though Sheppard felt something stir inside him that was anything but.

Teyla was beautiful and smart, tactful and funny in her own way; none of these traits having been lost on Colonel Sheppard every time he looked at her over the years, but he always felt that besides their current work situation that Teyla's path in life would lead her away from him and Atlantis eventually. He felt that she was meant to do more than fight the Wraith, after all she was a leader, and he knew that some day she would definitely want a family. Family was important to her, just as it was to John, but she already had people she shared love with from her home planet, while John only had the few here on Atlantis that he would call friend.

The light from the fireplace behind him cast a ethereal glow on Teyla's face and Sheppard felt he had to look away before he let his thoughts go to a place where he knew they shouldn't go.

Instead, Sheppard filled her cup and his own and simply nodded politely when she said thanks.

It was snowing outside the large hut they were crammed into, and the large green trees surrounding the encampment were blanketed by it giving Sheppard a real feeling of winter back home on Earth, Being here, among his team and these people, by the fire on a dark snowy night, Sheppard realized for a long sad moment that sometimes, just sometimes he didn't think he would hate living here in a place like this, having himself a family and a home, though he never really let the thought sink in too much for fear he might never let it go.

That was not his path, he knew that. But sometimes, it felt so good to imagine what life he could lead if only he let himself be.

Some men in the far corner of the room started singing a loud boisterous song while a nearby elder played some sort of flute. Sheppard was a little surprised to find Ronon soon humming along and soon the minutes turned into hours of singing and drinking for all to see. Even Rodney had been coerced into dancing with an attractive red-headed local woman on the make-shift dance floor between the front door and the long table by the fireplace.

Sheppard felt the slight buzz of the wine coursing through his system and felt like taking in some air while the others continued their merriment.

Quietly, he crept out the back door and found himself in a small clearing just before the thick forest began. Snow covered everything in sight now and he dusted off a small wooden bench nearby before uneasily plopping his body down into it.

He was quite amused by how warm his new vest was keeping him but then wondered if the alcohol had something to do with it as well. He pushed the thought aside and attempted to focus on the quiet and stillness of the night and the gentle falling of the snow.

"Would you be willing to share your bench, Colonel?"

Sheppard careened his neck around, slightly startled by the voice and smiled widely upon seeing Teyla standing there, wearing her own gift of a long animal vest. The fur on hers was dark and it was already be speckled with snow though she could have only been standing there for a moment.

Sheppard patted the seat beside him before clearing it of snow. "Sure thing."

Teyla sat gracefully and the two of them sat in silence staring out into the darkness between the trees for what seemed like quite awhile.

"Is something wrong Colonel?" Teyla finally asked.

Sheppard shook his head. "Nah…I was just thinking….about stuff…and life…"

Teyla smiled, the corners of her eyes crinkling up. "Yes I imagined so. While everyone seemed to be relaxed and joyful, you seemed very quiet and pensive. I thought perhaps it was a reaction to the mulled berry wine. You did intake quite a bit of it."

Sheppard leaned closer to her, in an almost confidential way and whispered , "I don't think their berry wine actually had any berries in it."

Teyla nodded with mock secrecy in return. "Best not to say anything though."

Sheppard looked at her solemnly for a moment as the words left her lips and marveled at how beautiful her mouth seemed to be when it moved. Realizing where his thoughts were again going to, he admonished himself and forced himself to move away from the closeness of her face.

"Do you ever wonder sometimes Teyla, what your life would be like if you just…chose to change something? Something significant?"

He didn't look at her for a response; just stared up at the snowfall in the black sky and waited for her answer.

"I'm not sure I know what you mean sir."

Sheppard cleared his throat. "Its just……I don't know. Do you ever think about the future? If we defeat the Wraith and Atlantis is safe? Do you ever think about……family?"

Teyla's face took on a very surprised but serious look and she stared hard at the side of John's face as he continued to look upwards into the night sky.

She knew how infrequent John spoke of such personal things and attributed it to the wine, though she was glad for being the one who got to see him in this slightly vulnerable capacity.

"Yes," she answered truthfully, "I think about it often. To have a home and children…..love……. These things mean a great deal to me and to all my people. I only hope I survive long enough through this fight to see the day where such things become a real possibility."

John turned and looked at her sharply then. His eyes held a passion that caught her suddenly off guard. "Of course you'll live through it Teyla. I'd make sure that nothing ever happened to you…."

Teyla felt a warmth surge inside her chest, even though she knew Sheppard would have said that to any member of the team. For a long moment, she let herself believe that to her, he meant it on a whole different level and she liked the way that felt.

Clinging to that notion, even though she felt it was a stretch of her imagination, she smiled gratefully at him and took his hand in her own. It was surprisingly warm to her and she squeezed it tight.

"Thank you Colonel. Your words mean so much to me. I can only hope all whom we consider friends survive the fight."

A snowflake lazily fell onto Teyla's cheek and as she raised a hand to wipe it away, she stopped herself as she felt Sheppard's other warm hand against her face, brushing the skin there lightly.

Their eyes met through the falling snow and for a moment, both of them let their thoughts roam to a place where anything could be, no matter how unlikely it seemed. And they smiled at each other through the darkened starry night, with the sound of song and laughter echoing somewhere behind them.

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